Hi Warriors. Sorry I've been a little MIA lately, but this pregnancy is kicking my butt! As I am writing this, I am currently 12 weeks pregnant! Baby is starting to look more like a baby rather than a gummy bear, and we will be finding out the gender in about a week! My guess? A girl, based on my symptoms.
But before we get there, I'm going to talk about how this pregnancy is kicking my butt. When they say infertility is a rollercoaster, they mean it. Physically and mentally. One week everything will be looking great, and the next I have a 50/50 percent chance of losing the baby.
When going through IVF, you do weekly ultrasounds to make sure everything is on track. After getting the news about our positive beta, our doctor wanted to see us a week earlier than usual because my beta number was just barely positive. So at 5 weeks, I went in to see if the gestational sac was located in the correct place (i.e not an ectopic pregnancy). Thank goodness it was located in the right place, but the size drew concern. So after hearing that we are pregnant, to hear that the size of the sac is smaller than "normal" was kind of heart wrenching. The doctor said it was unlikely to hear a heartbeat next week and to prepare for the worst.
That week was 10x longer than the 2WW. Constantly wondering if my baby was growing or not. I went to Grand Rapids to visit my family, and it did help, but I was still constantly worrying.
So that day came, K and I prayed in the car before I went in, and soon enough, I saw a flicker on the screen. I just started bawling, all I could think was "Thank you Lord, thank you!"
The doctor was in shock. He looked me in the eyes and said, "you have a real miracle. I really thought it wasn't going to happen. Congratulations!" I soon was running to the car, with our little picture of our precious gift, tears in my eyes, excited to tell K the news.
The next ultrasound we got some bad news. Well, more concerning news. I went in all excited because last time we heard what we have been longing to hear, and all I remember was walking to the car, numb. The heart rate was at 107 bpm, when it should have been closer to 140/160. The doctor told me to be prepared for the worst, again.
The following week, it was still low. I mentally prepared myself for losing the baby, not getting too attached. But how can you detach yourself from something you never thought you could love as much as you do? I don't think I've prayed as much in my life as I did that week.
Soon came the ultrasound I was honestly dreading. Preparing for the worst, I looked at the screen as the doctor said out loud, "wow". The heartbeat jumped from 107bpm to 164bpm in one week. I was in shock. In awe. I was soon filled with hope.
Around 10 weeks, the symptoms started to kick in out of no where. But with each symptom, I was so thankful. So thankful for every dry heave, every dizzy spell, every exhausted moment, because that just reminded me of the miracle inside of me. But the nausea sure had a part in my first trimester. Holy cow. There were days I didn't leave my bed, only eating saltines and Ginger Ale, prego pops, water and constantly wearing sea bands.
The nausea and dry heaving got so bad that my throat was so raw and I couldn't eat. I called my doctor and they said I could take Unisom at night, and oh my goodness, it was like a night and day difference. I slowly started to gain my appetite back along with my energy. I still have days where the nausea takes over, but each day is slowly getting better.
Soon, it was our gender reveal party. The doctor's office called my friend Kelli to tell the gender. She did such a great job keeping a secret, because we for sure thought it was a girl. Turns out, little K is a boy, and we couldn't be more thrilled.
I can't believe I am almost to my 2nd trimester. They sure aren't kidding when they say it flies by.
baby dust,
s.
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