Hello, Warriors.
In my previous post, I talked about some comments or phrases NOT to say to someone if they are struggling to conceive.
Here are 10 things you could say, that, in my opinion, are what infertile or struggling to conceive couples need to hear.
1. "You will be a great mom/dad!"
This reminds us that there is a possibility that we will be parents some day (hopefully sooner rather than later). Talking about the future and endless possibilities gives us hope.
2. "You are such a strong person, you will get through this."
IVF, especially our first time, is extremely nerve racking. There are so many unknowns, and a reminder that this too will pass is refreshing to hear.
3. "I am excited for you!"
Our chances of a successful first round of IVF is quite high, which is pretty exciting. Remind us that!
4. "You two are going to be the best parents, that kid is so lucky!"
Again, talking about the future gives us hope of what could be. We are excited to be parents, and are looking forward to it!
5. "You will be such a cute pregnant lady!"
Your body goes through quite some changes when pregnant (as I've heard), but also during IVF. Lots of bruising, bloating and hormone changes. A friendly reminder about one of the milestones of becoming a parent, pregnancy, is exciting. Be careful with this one though; it could trigger some unwanted feelings and realizations. Just know your audience well.
6. "Even though I don't know what you are going through, I am here for you."
IVF is a constant uphill battle. No one really understands what you are going through unless they themselves are going through it or have been through it too. Sometimes, IVF warriors need to vent about the struggle of conceiving, or a shoulder to cry on. Be that for us.
7. "Wow, you are so brave!"
IVF is scary. Really scary. Not just because I have to give myself multiple injections everyday, but for even scarier reasons. Everyday is precious, and someone's cycle could be canceled at any time for many many reasons like infection, over stimulated ovaries, 0 fertilized embryos/unhealthy embryos, etc. Encouragement is what a warrior needs to hear during their cycle.
8. "You can do this."
A lot of couples doubt if IVF is the right thing for them. It's kind of like risk vs. reward. You risk your health, thousands of thousands of dollars, time, your mental health, the chance of a failed cycle, chance of your cycle being canceled due to reasons mentioned above, miscarriage, hysterical pregnancy and so much more. The reward? A beautiful baby. Remind us of the possible reward.
9. "Your God is far bigger than your struggles."
Remind us that we are not in this alone, and God is with us, ALWAYS.
10. "It will be so worth it once you hold your precious baby!"
The final goal is to deliver a happy healthy baby. It's nice to know others want that for us as well. Be excited for us!
These are just some phrases that, in my opinion, are nice to hear during our struggle of infertility. Again, everyone is different. Use your gut, and ask yourself, "If I were in this situation, what would I want to hear?"
baby dust,
s.
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